Written by Brendan Holland
In a world that constantly demands our attention, self-love can often feel like an afterthought. We are conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to what we achieve, how much we give to others, or how we measure up to society’s ideals. But what if we shifted our perspective on self-love to see it as coming home to who we already are?
For years, I struggled with the concept of self-love. As a husband, father, and man, my instinct was to give. Give to my family, my work, and everyone around me. This approach left little room for my own needs. It wasn’t until I started my own journey of breathwork and introspection that I truly understood the transformative power of self-love.
Self-love is not a selfish concept. It is the foundation for everything else. When we pour into ourselves, we’re better equipped to show up for others. We cannot give what we do not have. If we lack love for ourselves, can we truly offer it to others? When I say self-love, I don’t just mean bubble baths and affirmations (though those can help). It goes deeper… it is setting boundaries, speaking kindly to ourselves, and creating space for healing and growth.
For me, it often starts with the breath. In the stillness of a deep inhale and a long exhale, I connect to the present moment and remind myself that I am enough. A conscious breath is a gift I can give to myself at any moment, and through practices like breathwork, I’ve learned to quiet the inner critic and replace it with a voice of compassion and love.
Self-love also means facing the shadows, accepting the parts of ourselves we’d rather hide. The insecurities, the mistakes, the fears, and recognising that they’re part of what makes us human. It’s messy and uncomfortable, but believe me, it’s also where the magic happens.
As a father, I’ve come to see that the best way to teach my children self-love is to model it. When they see me prioritising my well-being, they learn that it’s okay to do the same. When I make time for rest, creativity, or simply being, I show them that life is more than just “doing” all the time… It is also about “being”.
This month, I invite you to take a moment to connect with yourself. Whether it’s through journalling, breathwork, or simply sitting in silence, start a dialogue with your inner self. You are worthy of love, just as you are.
Remember, self-love is a daily practice, and it’s one worth showing up for.
So, take a breath and show up for yourself.